What a sad outcome.
This will be a little scatterbrained, so please forgive me if the through lines are hard to follow, but it seems like the kangaroo court have never experienced an abusive relationship. On the one hand, that ignorance is great. I don't wish that experience on anyone. On the other hand, it's dangerous as evidenced here. I'll not bore anyone with the details, but I grew up with very abusive parents (both towards each other and their children). Through a sense of obligation, my father would not leave my mother even as she physically abused him. And through his cheating, alcoholism and unwillingness to express a solitary emotion, she'd not leave him either as she feared what her life would be like without him. The background. If you'd ask her about their relationship, she'd play the victim and never accept any fault for where their marriage arrived (even to this day). Thankfully, he is a little more self-aware of his many short comings. Things aren't always so black and white or good versus evil.
I don't know Alec and it sounds like he had plenty of baggage and demons, but it also sounds like he was putting in the work to be a better person. That doesn't mean he deserves forgiveness from those he abused, but:
"This story isn't about him - after years of therapy and working on himself, he reached out and apologized for everything, and I've forgiven him."
If this is an example of forgiveness, then I hope I'm never forgiven for my past transgressions.
The Internet and social media are such a drag sometimes. I'm all for #MeToo movements, but conflating the likes of Weinstein or Cosby with every accusation that pops up is dangerous. We should be able to appreciate the difference between an army of rape accusations tied back to a single abuser versus a solitary accusation tied to an abusive relationship. I'm fine with #BelieveHer, but should we #AskHim before cancelling him? I know I said I wouldn't get in details above, but Zoe's account reminded me of an re-occurrence in my family. Once or twice a week, my mother would pack her bags and load up the car with her youngest (me) in tow while swearing she was leaving him this time. Sometimes we made it out of the garage. Sometimes to the end of the drive way. Rarely onto the street. We never left.