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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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Cease contact with them. It's a lot easier to not think about someone when you're not talking to them, following them on Instagram, and liking their tweets.
'affecting a future' of what?
You're this woman's friend in hopes that later you'll be more than that. It's being disingenuous to the friendship. You aren't really her friend.
It really just sounds like you're trying to make excuses to cling to this girl when there are plenty of other fish.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I usually just go for the kiss but some girls are harder to read than others. Last girlfriend I had when I first met her we went out for food and drinks. She cabbed home after. I gave her a hug. Next time she came over to my house to watch a movie, she actually sat on the other couch so I was like.. uhhh ok? Not sure if she is that interested. She left and just a hug again. She came over a 3rd time and at least sat on the same couch and say close, I just couldnt read if she was down for kissing. Just the way she was acting. I was alright I'll take it slow. But then went she went home that night I texted her like "its really difficult to not try and make a move on you" and she was like "you should have, I've wanted to fuck your brains out since our first date"... i was like "fuck!"
I dunno man. Its usually not a problem for me to move in for a kiss but its usually obvious. Sometimes its not and I would say something like "i want to kiss you" or "can I kiss you".
So yeah totally depends on the girl or your skill at reading situations. I think playing safe wont hurt too bad unless its obvious as fuck.
I dunno man. Its usually not a problem for me to move in for a kiss but its usually obvious. Sometimes its not and I would say something like "i want to kiss you" or "can I kiss you".
So yeah totally depends on the girl or your skill at reading situations. I think playing safe wont hurt too bad unless its obvious as fuck.
Spaced Harrier
Member
Dear Jesus Christ no.
always crazy bacon
Banned
On and off for several years? You are her emotional comfort blanket and once you've made her feel better she's off. This could also be you using her that way too. Gender equality.
"Last Week" is current enough.
You want to preserve any potential futures together while you're trying to stop thinking about her. That's a "I want to eat my cake and have it too" scenario if I've ever heard one. Pick one.
She has a boyfriend, you don't live near her, and you've been "off" for a year. There are far better foundations for a future.
I don't ask. I kissed GF on the cheek on the first date while we hugged. She was surprised by it but would later reveal she thought I had nice lips so she allowed it hahaha...
But the first actual kiss was when I visited her when she was sick at home (3rd time seeing her). I volunteered to bring her some pho. We hugged and I held her for a bit on the couch but there wasn't an official kiss yet. Before I left her place, I said "I probably should wait til you're better but..." I lightly held her shoulders and brought her in for a kiss. She was so embarrassed by it. Hahaha
In the end it worked out though! Been official for just over a month and going very strong!
jimmypython
Member
I don't ask. I kissed GF on the cheek on the first date while we hugged. She was surprised by it but would later reveal she thought I had nice lips so she allowed it hahaha...
But the first actual kiss was when I visited her when she was sick at home (3rd time seeing her). I volunteered to bring her some pho. We hugged and I held her for a bit on the couch but there wasn't an official kiss yet. Before I left her place, I said "I probably should wait til you're better but..." I lightly held her shoulders and brought her in for a kiss. She was so embarrassed by it. Hahaha
In the end it worked out though! Been official for just over a month and going very strong!
lol this reads like an anime...and congrats!
last first kiss with someone for me was kinda funny. We were chatting at her place and on a very interesting topic so I just kept talking. Then she interrupted and said: why don't you kiss me!?
We made out for like 30 min lol
Good news, everyone, our least favorite redpiller got banned: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=241314037&postcount=376
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
It's happy birthday to ALL of us!
Starlightmuse
Member
What Evilore told him is just what we all told him, but he's not going to believe anyone's words it seems. He has to see a therapist (as a future psychologist I say it with the best intentions) for his own good, he has evident deep emotional and cognitive problems that he need to treat.
I wish him the best though, he remembers me of a good friend I have (he isn't a red piller o anything that bad, he just have low self steem and think he's not going to find a woman in his life).
"You didn't give me the answer I wanted to hear. Thanks anyway."
Ultramantaro1
Member
Ha ha you're right, I guess it's poorly written. English is my 3rd language. Not really asking for a kiss, more like 'asserting' yourself ? I would never say 'Can I kiss you?', that's just really weak.
It's more like grabbing her by the hand, pulling her close and saying 'I want to kiss you now' as you're leaning in close. It was a lot more romantic then I made it sound lol. I'm still looking beforehand for the same signs that you are, like intense eye contact, she's sitting close to me, staring at my lips, touching my arm, playing with her hair...
It's more of a 'nerves' thing, really. Saying it makes it easier for me and gives the girl a short window to decline or say something rather than falling into a weird hug/cheek thing. Like I said, I still only do it when I'm feeling the vibe, same as all of you guys. It's extra 'step' I add to the process while going through the same motions, and it's always been very well received.
Dating GAF |OT7| Giving you the answers you don't want to hear
Edit: in less good news, Ray told me he's permabanned https://twitter.com/TheRayWonder/status/877217140696330240. Everyone pour one out for our lost brother
Don't worry, you can still be her backup if things don't work out with her bf. Being her 2nd choice is still better than a life without her, am I right? Though, if you end up together again at some point, hopefully you will not have another 'off' period which you have had multiple times in the past (it'll be different this time!!). But even if you do and she gets another bf, you can still take solace that you will still be a backup in case that new relationship doesn't work out either. I call it the vicious cycle of breadcrumbs.
Count Dookkake
Member
Don't ask for a kiss. Just say "I want to kiss you."
Or complain about male models and "norwooding" and then die alone.
Or complain about male models and "norwooding" and then die alone.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
Damn 7 bans and you're gone?
How do you check how you have in total, I'm pretty sure I have like 4 2-3 weeks bans yeah don't ask for a kiss, just do it. Only time I "asked" was a bet I made with a girl. I told her if I win, I kiss her. And she asked me what happens if she wins? I told her she gets to kiss me, so make sure not to lose ¯\_(ツ
_/¯Omg Ray
In terms of kissing, the last time I kissed anyone (4 years ago lol), it was more an unspoken thing. As you talk, you just move closer and talk more quietly until it happens. I guess.
I'm obviously not the one to answer this well.
LucidMomentum
Member
At the end of the day, all the crumbs still make you thirsty...
Yeah this basically.
Okay, so I guess I wasn't out of line in thinking that commenting on a kiss (either as a question or "I want to kiss you") was unusual. But it is interesting to know that it sometimes happens & works, even with some of GAF's most prolific daters.
Even on brief coffee dates?
Even on brief coffee dates?
Gotdatmoney
Member
If you have been on and off with someone ypu should ask yourself why you havent made it work out permanently if you're meant to be together.
It really shouldn't be as difficult as you you have described. That sounds exhaustog.
Man you can ask. If the person wants to kiss you that isn't gonna make you take an L. But in general asking is just like . . . I dunno, learn to read the mood.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Messofanego
Banned
I never went on coffee dates. They don't feel sexy to me. They feel more like job interviews in my opinion.
A sober walk in a park is more romantic than a coffee date.
Which is why im suprise its always suggested. Feels so formal.
Agreed. Coffee also seems to have the opposite effect of alcohol. It's makes everyone focus more and relax less. It's the last thing you want to make into a first date.
Maybe try going for "dessert" instead? It can be at a coffee house. But it's way more romantic... especially in a nice candle lit place.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Drinks is preferable but since I gotta drive to all my dates not realistic most of the time. Coffee sorta boring admittedly but it aint the worst. In the summer hikes or walks by the waterfront in the city always are solid.
First dates with people you've never met at places that are "romantic" and "candle lit" is usually not a good idea.
If you've met the person before, sure. But first meetings with strangers, that aren't blind dates? That's usually kind of a warning sign. Over-commitment, too willing to devote a substantial chunk of time right off the bat.
Nah... desert can be a under a half-hour if you need it to be.
And I don't agree about the setting at all.
I'm still unsure what he was looking for. A way to stop his emotional energy from affecting new relationships while also keeping this girl around as a fallback/"just in case it can work out?" All the vagueries and "I don't feel like explaining this" didn't help either.
Yea. The dude needs to realize he has no future with his ex at all. He's just in denial and putting himself through hell for no reason.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Personally I operate under the assumption that if someone isn't being forthcoming or they are vague they basically know it's stupid but don't want to be told so.
I dont know if that is a good place to be or a terrible place
Benzychenz
Member
Brunch > coffee
Spaced Harrier
Member
Omg Ray
In terms of kissing, the last time I kissed anyone (4 years ago lol), it was more an unspoken thing. As you talk, you just move closer and talk more quietly until it happens. I guess.
I'm obviously not the one to answer this well.
Damn. Well fair play you got the correct answer anyway. Which is a lot better than some of GAF.
Starlightmuse
Member
Guys, pineapple pizza date. If she agrees then you know you have a red flag there.
Yeah I'm becoming monothematic with the pineapple thing
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
We got Leeness dropping truths now about kissing, gaiages lived another year, everyone's favorite Red Piller got banned, Mega's penis presumably works, Peltz still has a SO - like vern and Zackie...
Truly the salad days of Dating Age.
Haha, well.
I dunno. It really depends sometimes, I think. That person I was actually somewhat attracted to in whatever capacity I can be, so I was into it.
If someone I wasn't so into had tried it, I may not have been that interested. I most likely would have gone along with it because I can't say no to people, and then felt gross later :/
I'm okay with dates starting in a coffee shop, but I hate when they end there. Let's go for a walk, get some gelato, debate life while people watching...
I consider that part of the game, having the confidence to say "This girl is into me" and the experience to know when they aren't. And it's always a treat when the lady surprises you with a bit of confidence of her own
I consider that part of the game, having the confidence to say "This girl is into me" and the experience to know when they aren't. And it's always a treat when the lady surprises you with a bit of confidence of her own
Speaking of my SO, it's going so well. No fighting, no drama. Good times. No complication as of right now.
Still... I do miss the excitement of meeting a new woman. It's like eating your favorite dish every meal. Sometimes you want to order in something new. But you can't. I'm not complaining or anything. But just... if you're worried about being single, don't be. Neither side of the coin is glamorous in truth. Both have their trade offs and there's really no rush.
When you're single, you have excitement presented by new opportunities at every angle - even when you strike out. You anticipate sex with a new girl to be this exciting and amazing thing - and sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. You also meet a lot of shitty people, a lot of good incompatible people, and a lot of fun people who come and go into your life and make different seasons memorable depending on who you were with at the time. It's romantic and makes you feel like a bad ass when you have a shit-ton of dates every week with different girls. You party with them, and go on adventures with them, and then you leave them (or they leave you) - but you keep the experience. It's very low-pressure, pleasurable and fun.
On the other hand, when you have a SO, you have a deep connection that will make you a much more complete person overall. There's deep respect, honesty, mutual sacrifice and genuine adoration. I would go to great lengths to make her happy the way she has done for me. And you can also binge watch shows on Netflix because you know she will be there for the season finale (lol). The feeling of responsibility is very tangible though and you don't have the freedom to chat up any girl you want anymore. So in a sense, you have to curtail what feels natural and fun for a more rewarding form of happiness. It hasn't been very long, but the degree of change for me has been extremely significant. I was going on 4 or so dates per week for over 2 years now, and suddenly I'm not.
It's something that I am still coming to terms with. It's not easy. But it's also not as difficult as I originally thought it would be a month ago.
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