Joining newborn-GAF! On Day 5 here and have probably slept a combined total of 15 hours or so since my wife went into labor some 140 hours ago. Somehow, I'm handling it better than I expected.
Our son immediately went for the breast after being born, but my wife had trouble making breast milk and could only produce a few drops of colostrum per feeding. After a couple of days, we were almost about to start giving him formula when a very generous friend, who has a six-month old, offered to share some of her extra breast milk, so we've been using that to supplement. My wife's breast milk is starting to come in now, so I think (hope) we're mostly in the clear.
I got worried the other day after visiting the pediatrician, because it became clear that my son's jaundice level had gone into intermediate risk territory. 24 hours after he was born, his test results came back as being extremely low in terms of jaundice, but I think the lack of breast milk, and, as a result, a lack of stools, the jaundice worsened. He's feeding every 2 hours now, and finally pooped the other night, so I'm hoping things will improve soon. We're scheduled to check in with the pediatrician again tomorrow afternoon.
Anyway, this is where I'm at right now! I expected challenges, but this whole baby thing is a lot tougher than I expected! I'm sure I'll be in here asking for advice frequently in the near future.
Congrats!
To be fair, though, resorting to supplementing breast feeding with some formula will not harm your baby. You sound as if "almost about to start feeding formula" as if it were some poison or something.
Do the best you can, and things will be fine. Man, our first few days were a needless nightmare, as we had elevated temperatures, suspected infection (although it just turns out someone forgot to turn the radiator in the room off), jaundice levels requiring rehospitalisation (which turned out to be unnecessary, but then, by that stage my wife and daughter weren't allowed to check out) etc etc.
As always, parent-GAF will offer advice as best we can.
The best advice I ever heard amounted to knowing that every kid is different, so all 'advice' are just guidelines. You are entitled to be the parent YOU want to be.
Also, take note that, IMO, the difficulties of being a parent to a newborn is two-fold - there is how the baby acts, and how you, the parent act. That is, YOUR attitude plays just as much a part in the hardship. You have a certain level of control in how you react and perceive things. YOU can make certain aspects more easy or more difficult, depending on who you want to see things.
It's ok to be a bad parent some of the time - it's normal to have minor lapses in decision-making, so don't beat yourself up over those moments, and always strive to move forwards.
Lastly, at times, it does seem like a baby is all take, take, take, with no give. But rest assured, those great moments you hear about ARE coming, and they ARE everything you had hoped for. In the meantime, your baby is still giving - because your son will be testing you. You will learn more about yourself than you have ever known, your limits, your patience. This is an amazing thing, so be thankful for it!
The biggest thing we've done with our four year old was do things with him without the twins. Even if its as simple as taking him to the store, he gets some personal time without the twins and it doesn't feel like we are ignoring him. We also make our son involved. We let him play with the babies and he helps us with feedings and changes. Stress the big brother/sister aspect too. Our son loves the idea of being the big brother, it makes him feel apart of this whole thing. It will be stressful and you will be tired but don't let it get in the way of your relationship with your oldest child.
