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PoliGAF 2012 |OT3| If it's not a legitimate OT the mods have ways to shut it down

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C

Chichikov

Member
Black Republican said:
JOBLESSRATE_20121005_111755.jpg
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The square root of -1 is i, but...
IS THIS NUMBER REAL?
 
T

Tim-E

Member
LOL The Onion has been incredible this year:


Reince Priebus Forced Back Into Ancient Puzzle Box After Being Tricked Into Saying Name Backwards



WASHINGTON—Startled sources at a GOP fundraiser confirmed Thursday that after being duped into saying his own name backwards, ancient elfin mischief-maker and Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus was cast back into the gilded puzzle box that has confined him for millennia.

Priebus, a wily, mystical creature who has reportedly carried out right-wing political trickery at numerous points throughout recorded history, was said to be delivering a speech on traditional family values when he unthinkingly read the words “Subeirp Ecnier” aloud off the teleprompter, immediately causing the lights in the Omni Hotel to flicker and sending a powerful, chilling wind through the convention hall.

Witnesses stated that in the moments after the fateful words were uttered, Priebus reverted to his natural form as a 3-and-a-half-foot-tall wart-covered hobgoblin. As Priebus’ nose grew red and bulbous and the points of his green felt shoes coiled inward, the puzzle box—forged with images of a sword, a skull, and a jackal—shook violently on a nearby tabletop before splitting open and emitting heavy smoke and an eerie purple glow.

“Oh, no, you tricked me!” the irate conservative dwarf is said to have shouted after invoking the curse, his voice growing higher in pitch as he shrank to one-twelfth his normal size. “No, not again! Mark my words: I’ll be back! I’ll come back to get all of you! I always come back! The world hasn’t seen the last of Reince Priebus!”

Scholars say Reince Priebus has been perpetrating conservative-leaning tricks and schemes on humanity for centuries.

“Government must be smaller!” the tiny-voiced Priebus reportedly added before a vortex of sparkling light began sucking him into the other-dimensional void within the ancient container. “Smaaaaalleeeeer!”

According to onlookers, as the unseen forced tugged him toward the puzzle box, Priebus clutched desperately to the lectern and cursed the fate that awaited him, managing to squeak out one last plea to cut federal abortion funding before disappearing into the glowing chamber.

“It was the strangest thing,” conservative blogger Christine Parnell said. “One second Reince was talking about the importance of a two-parent household, and the next he turned into this ugly, shrieking little troll and began levitating across the podium. But as soon as the box snapped shut around him, all the lights came back on, the wind stopped, and it was as if he never existed at all.”

While it remained unclear who planted the incantation on Priebus’ teleprompter, sources suggested it was likely Democratic National Committee chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a frequent victim of the gremlinlike creature’s fiendish ploys and deceptions, which are said to include orchestration of the Citizens United decision, the congressional debt-ceiling standoff, and the 2012 Republican Party platform.

Priebus is believed to have concocted dozens of right-leaning schemes since assuming the form of a human male upon his most recent release from the box in 2009, and scholars said the diminutive, frequently giggling prankster has been engaging in socially conservative and business deregulation hijinks for centuries.

“Whenever there’s been a major historical movement toward eliminating social programs, the deceptive elf Reince Priebus has typically been involved,” said Cambridge University historian Arnold Bissel, stating that dozens of cultures throughout history have oral traditions speaking of a “wild-eyed devious creature” who pestered his progressive political foes. “Time and time again he’s wreaked his havoc, whether it’s slashing taxes on the wealthiest, disenfranchising voter blocs, stealing berries, or stymieing women’s rights. Reince Priebus is a crafty little imp.”

“However, he’s easily susceptible to the same tricks he plays on others,” the scholar continued. “In the end, the mischievous little fellow always gets deceived himself and winds up back in his tiny cage.”

While the precise origins of Reince Priebus remain shrouded in mystery, it is widely believed he was conjured by ancient druids from fire and untaxed business profits to serve as an eternal protector of corporate interests and lax weapons laws. According to Bissell, ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs provide the first known depiction of the being: a miniature pointy-eared figure who advised pharaohs and who, according to lore, was revered as a god for his advocacy of a robust national defense and Egyptian exceptionalism.

Additionally, writings about an oily elfin deceiver known as “the Prybus” have placed the legendary creature in the Irish midlands in the 16th century, alongside emperors of China’s Tang Dynasty, among the Austrian Habsburgs, and within the Roman court of Pompey, where he allegedly solidified a place as a valued aide with his ability to secure limitless campaign contributions.

“What’s most bizarre is that the puzzle box has no visible lock or mechanical components at all,” Bissell said. “Indeed, it can only be opened when a young conservative firstborn who is pure of heart holds it tightly with both hands and utters ‘Government spending is out of control’ three times, thereby summoning forth Reince Priebus once more.”

At press time, the whereabouts of the golden puzzle box containing the demonic right-wing trickster were unknown.
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/reince-priebus-forced-back-into-ancient-puzzle-box,29803/
 
M

Mackenzie 92

Member
Byakuya769 said:
The people who know better already know who they're going to vote for, no? I think you underestimate how poorly informed "undecideds" generally are. Presidential debates aren't substantive policy discussions they're public arguments. Obama lost. Jay-Z lost.
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Undecideds that I am around, family, friends and colleagues still say "they both suck." The debate changed none of their minds and they're probably not gonna bother voting.
 
P

PhoenixDark

Banned
Obama has spent 40 months telling us not too focus too much on one jobs report. So will we go back to that policy next month when the participation rate increase out paces jobs enough to raise unemployment back to 8% perhaps?
 
O

Owzers

Member
PhoenixDark said:
Obama has spent 40 months telling us not too focus too much on one jobs report. So will we go back to that policy next month when the participation rate increase out paces jobs enough to raise unemployment back to 8% perhaps?
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At least we'll know those numbers are real unlike these Chicago manufactured ones.
 
R

Revolver

Member
HylianTom said:
My favorite cartoon thus far..
and100512blog.jpg


Hot damn..
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It's funny, I've heard more from family members and on Twitter about Romney's Big Bird comment than anything else from the debate. The local news ran a story about his comments last night and barely mentioned anything else from the debate. I didn't imagine that would gain any kind of traction.
 
C

codhand

Member
http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/20...nt-syndrome/?smid=tw-NytimesKrugman&seid=auto

Today’s full-scale freakout over a decent jobs report is a sight to behold. Spare me the false equivalence: yes, you occasionally find people on the left claiming that the numbers have been faked or the truth hidden, but not leading figures in the media and major-league plutocrats. (Next time people try to portray Jack Welch as an icon of success, a man we should listen to, remember this moment)
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A4dNGAwCIAAIf0R.jpg
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C

cartoon_soldier

Member
PhoenixDark said:
Can't wait. Did you see today's Ohio and Florida polls? I thought the race wasn't tightening...

Can't wait for Nate Silver's professional take on them
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I then looked at We Ask Ameirca's breakdown.

Their FL poll has a R+4 breakdown, VA is R+2. Ohio is D+4 (much more in line). Not sure on their accuracy.
 
J

Jackson50

Member
Diablos said:
On undecided voters who haven't taken a real look at the man in nearly four years, yes. First impression of sitting President Obama at the end of his first term.
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You're fretting over a misconception of undecided voters. You perceive undecided voters to be indecisive, malleable dullards who vote on caprice. However, many undecided voters have partisan dispositions which filter the media narrative bugaboo. Lynn Vavrick of YouGov, who I've cited here before, has been writing a series of articles for the NYT on undecided voters. And the data belies your misconception. At most, you're describing a minuscule segment of the population. Really, that you believe a swath of voters who've ignored Obama for four years suddenly developed an interest in politics bespeaks how warped your perception's become.
Cheebo said:
Sad thing is this won't do much to change the trajectory. The bad results last month did nothing to slow down Obama's polls. This on the flip-side likely will have no impact. For some reason (good or bad) the job report numbers don't have an impact on where the race is.
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We shouldn't expect recent employment reports to affect the race. We've accustomed to remarkable stability in the employment reports the past two years where slight variations are almost indistinguishable from noise. There hasn't been a truly good or bad report since 2010. The reports have centered over mediocre.
teruterubozu said:
I agree. People simply don't take job number reports at face value anymore. People look at their immediate lives, like how much money are they are making today.
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Not quite. Evaluations of the overall economy, sociotropic voting, have shown to correlate with vote choice more than evaluations of one's personal finances. Although, the actual process is more complex; TMC has various insightful posts on the topic. Mind you, I'm not suggesting the public cares about the employment reports. They are only a component of a larger phenomenon.
reilo said:
For comparison,

Ohio:
Rasmussen Reports 9/12 - 9/12 500 LV 4.5 47 46 Obama +1

Virginia:
Rasmussen Reports 9/13 - 9/13 500 LV 4.5 49 48 Obama +1

"Calm down?!"
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So, most post-debate polls evince a 1-2% shift? How expected.
 
D

DynamicG

Member
Loudninja said:
Well PD is not even trying anymore how boring.
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It's not that he isn't trying, it's that his grasp on empirical reality is tenuous. He seems to flit around and lack the patience to "wait and see" and wants to instantly predict outcomes based on individual data points. It's bad analysis and it's not even fun anymore because the chicken littles shit up every single page of this topic.

I'm almost willing to take Kosmo over PD. Almost.
 
O

Owzers

Member
now it's just a borderline crazy McCain on cnbc. Sometimes he has a good moment but far too often it's just an old man whining. Iran thinks we aren't serious because we haven't told Israel to attack them. Fine, whatever.
 
D

DataStream

Member
izakq said:
Oh c'mon man, post a link. I want to see this.
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I'm not sure if i can post links to live streaming sites... (just google MSNBC live streaming and look for a site with a name referencing musical male chickens). The same site has CNBC

That segment is over, but they are following up with lots of politicos on the numbers (McCain currently).
 
R

RDreamer

Member
Wonder if the jobs numbers and the narrative around that will take over for the debate discussion on the weekend shows. Or at the least it might dilute the poor performance talk a bit.
 
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