always crazy bacon
Banned
It's the UK, HR are not quite like that there. Blocking her is the best way.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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It's the UK, HR are not quite like that there. Blocking her is the best way.
Let's not.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Don't do that, he overthinks things.
Sorry :-/
Not trying to make him feel bad or overthink.
Mega, if you're being denied advances and told "I'm not in the mood," that is a perfect opportunity to connect with your partner. Empathize with her and ask, "why not." Actually listen to what she says. Many times, that fixes this issue.
It's genuinely not cause for concern as long as you treat it moment where you actually listen to her and make her feel like she's a person.
Does that make sense? Communicate about it. Whatever you do, don't ignore it and don't accuse her of anything. Just genuinely ask her, "why not" with an open mind next time this happens.
Messofanego
Banned
What have you done, Peltz? Here we go again...
Yeah, its endearing for some people the way babe or bae are. There are people out there who like to be called "daddy" It all gets kinda weird when you think about it. Papi and mami give me pause when I hear people saying it to each other too but maybe I'm just not understanding it well cause I'm not a native Spanish speaker
... pet names are pretty interesting as a concept the more I think about it
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I agree with this.
Let's be honest here: she's probably concerned that things aren't working as they "should." In an otherwise glorious relationship, the intimacy's a black mark that's more easily avoided than addressed head-on, even though it should be. Maybe she thinks it's her fault. Maybe she's worried that things won't ever click. Maybe she wants to focus on the good, stable parts.
Look, last year I was in a relationship where I loved not having sex with my girlfriend because I wasn't what she wanted (and, y'know, vice versa). Reread that. It's ridiculous. The anxiety built up; I never enjoyed it; and I just didn't want to deal with the problem -- I hoped that time would eventually cure the issue, but it never did, because that never happens.
This is his girlfriend. It's going to be an awkward conversation, but he should feel comfortable having it.
Mega, why don't you just tell her that you went to the doc, got some V, and can't wait to try it out?
Hell, you can even say you'll go all Cedric Diggory on her Goblet of Fire so much that she screams MY HUFFLEPUFF! Or whatever, you know.
Last I checked people can not be in the mood for sex.
Megalosaro
Banned
Lol I'm not really worried guys. I know why she was not in the mood. Truth be told, I wasn't entirely either.
We had spent most of the day driving back from Vegas and we're both tired from staying out late the night before. I put on some moves because hey, it was a prime time to do something. But I know where she was coming from.
So we took a pretty long nap together, which was pretty nice. Except for the drug induced boner.
Edit: speaking of drug induced boners, there are definitely side effects especially when it wears off. I got super light headed. And apparently my eyes were bloodshot.
We had spent most of the day driving back from Vegas and we're both tired from staying out late the night before. I put on some moves because hey, it was a prime time to do something. But I know where she was coming from.
So we took a pretty long nap together, which was pretty nice. Except for the drug induced boner.
Edit: speaking of drug induced boners, there are definitely side effects especially when it wears off. I got super light headed. And apparently my eyes were bloodshot.
Jeff Green's Son
Neo Member
This is my first time posting in this thread but it seems like a good time. I have a second date with a girl tomorrow. It's been awhile since I've a second date and I'm not sure how much different than it will be from the first which went good. For context we work together so I've seen her in between. For some reason I'm more nervous for this date than the last. Any tips for a how a second date should go GAF?
SoldierOfLight
Member
Do not worry. She had her tubes tied so i can't and wouldn't do that ever lol. I was a bit confused by your post at first.
A little update for this morning*
So after the few texts of me telling her I'm in the area and can see her before i head home and the 3 unanswered calls, i still got nothing in return.
So i called her right now on my break and her roommate answers (they work together) saying she left her phone in the break room and that she's working. So i ask her roommate what's going on to which her roommate responds nothing at all, she talked about you earlier but she's been busy.
Crazy thing is I've seen this same exact shit happen before where the friend speaks partial truth and like to cover something up. I just don't get why they can't tell me up front what's going on. I even asked if i did something wrong and she said no you didn't. Dont worry I'm sure shell call you later.
What's my next step? Wait a day ..2 days until she calls me? It's things like thjs that kill it for me.
I know something is up, she's trying to find the right words to end it? Buying time to make a decision?
Women need to communicate this clear rather than pull this stunt. Oh and i know she hasn't been as busy because of her social media feeds posting pictures.
Megalosaro
Banned
Make it something fun
It's killing you because you're allowing it to. Why is she giving you the silent treatment? Is she 5-years old? Do you honestly believe you deserve to be treated like this?
Either end it on your own terms and move on, or go play some videogames or whatever until she decides to stop being a child and contact you like an adult in a functional relationship based on appropriate communication. She is doing this because it is affecting you (because you are letting it affect you). It's a mind game.
ZackieChan
Member
Not everyone can be a master of seduction like you and I, AD
Miles Quaritch
Member
Goddamn, that's a helluva development in that story.
I'm curious, no-one mentioned she was engaged at work until you asked? They didn't notice you both spending lots of time together and let you know? What about the ring? Didn't the dude care she was spending time away from home and even went to Paris without him?
So many questions...
I'm curious, no-one mentioned she was engaged at work until you asked? They didn't notice you both spending lots of time together and let you know? What about the ring? Didn't the dude care she was spending time away from home and even went to Paris without him?
So many questions...
I really wonder too, it's just such a twist, lol
Maybe the couple's in on it together? The seduce others to take their money or something
I just can't believe no one bothered to tell demonkaze that that girl was engaged, lol. Or that it never came up in a conversation or something.
ZackieChan
Member
Why do you care about any of this drama nonsense? Either you don't need this in your life, or you love it. If the former, just block her and move on. If the latter, why are you complaining?
artsi
Member
Maybe the guy is a cuck.
¯\_(ツ_/¯
But that's so mundane compared to crazy con artists!
jimmypython
Member
Yeah, explains why the dude blocked the social media.
"but why won't women just say no instead of ghosting me" exhibit 2394104292222 B:
http://www.wowt.com/content/news/Ub...shot-down-his-pitch-for-a-date-432296123.html
http://www.wowt.com/content/news/Ub...shot-down-his-pitch-for-a-date-432296123.html
jimmypython
Member
yep. ghosting or being irresponsible in general is a problem from all facets of the society.
Er, pretty sure you missed the point.
People ghost (mainly women) because they fear the reaction to no.
I don't know if you read the story (that is four sentences long) but she said no and he threatened to slit her throat. And he's an Uber driver. Soooooooooo yeah
Messofanego
Banned
Umm...
Prosecutors say Moreno asked the victim for a date. She said no, prompting the alleged threat.
An Uber driver has been jailed for allegedly threatening to slit the throat of a passenger who refused his overture for a date.
Had a date yesterday with a girl from Tinder, my first in ~8 months. I was super nervous, but she was nice and cute, and I generally think it went well. My one reservation is that she's about my height (5'9). I've usually dated girls who are at least a few inches shorter than me, and it made me a little self conscious and I worried she wouldn't be into me for that reason.
Also not even sure she wants a second date yet, she texted afterwards that she had a nice time, but we didn't plan anything. I guess I'll hit her up in a few days and figure something out.
Also not even sure she wants a second date yet, she texted afterwards that she had a nice time, but we didn't plan anything. I guess I'll hit her up in a few days and figure something out.
manfestival
Member
It's been forever since I actually found someone that strikes me as having mutual feelings. Any advice on not screwing this one up? Met her a couple months ago and it didn't become anything till Friday. Strangely enough she has been on my radar for the last 2 months but I kinda skipped her cause I missed out on 2 opportunities to get her number. A big event came through and we ended up rooming together at a hotel along with a couple other people. Long story short is that we ended up in a position where despite the presence of our roommates got in a bed together now out of respect nothing happened as time was also against us and we were both exhausted. I invited her to a date last night for Wednesday but it didn't work out cause I have team practice then and she has a soccer match then too. She counter proposed to go to the beach tonight and watch fireworks. Knowing myself, I will screw this up. I just need one kiss right? It feels so juvenile to ask since I am 30 but it has been 10 years since my last relationship. I get the other non committal stuff easier since I am a great dancer and it comes with the territory lol
jimmypython
Member
Because some men act like that, women, being put in potential danger, are forced to use ghosting etc as a defence mechanism. We also have to acknowledge that men ghost women too. Ghosting, which used to be considered irresponsible, is normalized.
So my point is all facets of the society, men and women, are responsible for such behaviour.
Slow down. Just go on the date. Stop thinking and enjoy.
Don't worry about the fact that it may not work out. Most things don't. The key to confidence isn't to believe that you're going to get the girl. Rather, it's to be comfortable with yourself whether you get the girl or not.
So if you're all worried about the outcome, you're going to appear as not being confident. So really, don't worry. Let it happen and be yourself. And if you don't get her, then whatever, at least you were yourself through the process.
manfestival
Member
Fair point. Gotta get out of my own head. Should I at least go for the kiss on this first date? Well if everything works out
always crazy bacon
Banned
Society changes, wasn't that long ago that meeting people for sex/dates over the Internet would have been considered dangerous or weird and yet here we are. It's THAT that promotes ghosting as as there are no family or friends links between people, nobody knows, it's discrete and you never have too see them again. This leads to more sex and more ghosting. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Yes. .
SoldierOfLight
Member
Thank you and ZackieChan. You guys have been helpful in making sense of all this. It really is immature on her part to pull this stunt especially considering how she saw me as her peace and happiness. 2 friends also told me that whatever she is going through is finally catching up to her that she is just taking her own time to make sense of it all. It may be my fault because I've given her the advice myself to just let go of any issues in her life right now. I may have become an issue.
It's fine. I'll live with it and I'll see all this in the cliche Facebook style of rejoicing in the little great joy we had together. Really was an experience i won't forget.
LordKasual
Banned
uhhh
....you almost smashed, and you're wondering if she wants to kiss you?
bruh, don't worry about fucking it up, you already got it. Just be yourself.
She wouldn't have climbed in a bed with you or invited to spend time with you if she didn't like you already.
just wing it bro. Time spent doesn't really mean much, unless she's rushing to get away from you or something lol
you're absolutely gonna get a hug when it's time to part ways (if you don't, you shouldn't even be asking). Gauge body language during the hug, she will most likely let you know there, especially if you're both standing.
just catch her eyes as you're disengaging the hug, they will absolutely tell you whether or not she's aiming for a kiss
ZackieChan
Member
Your post reeks of a lack of self confidence. You gotta work on that, man!
PancakeBurglar
Member
Just got back from a coffee date, she was definitely bigger then what her photos led me to believe. Even her full body shot wasn't as big, not sure if they were older pictures or what but its bummer for sure.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yep. This, right here, is the chicken nugget of things. It's going in the next OT. Which I am making. Because gaiages asked me, and she's a cool human person for whom we will not create a chibi mascot avatar.
Like, last night? Date with lawyer girl went well. Naturally, we made out a ton. After walking her home, I left her with, "I like you. I want to see you again. Let me know your schedule." Today, she was super quiet in texts - and so was I, since I was working. I asked her out again, and I haven't heard anything. The thing is, I'm okay either way. She'll probably be down. But if not? Oh well.
Once you realize it's just part of the journey, it's manageable. And, it's like the "unwritten rules" thing: I asked her out, she can either reply or not, and I won't initiate contact again because it's a waste of both of our time. Maybe it's just where I live, but I'd put money on the fact that I've probably dated or will date someone in her friend network, so -- being able to have people say, "Yeah, he was super respectful but I just wasn't feeling it" is an ideal outcome.
Anyway, YMMV. Just got back from drinks with my French friend. I wish she'd move here from NYC, since we actually get on surprisingly well.
I'm still awkward on dates and lack confidence. A year ago, I was much better at it so I don't know what happened to me. I'm still reeling from the last successful date way back in November that I dropped the ball on at the last minute.
I went on a date earlier today with a girl 8 years younger and awkwardly asked if she would like to kiss me. She said no politely then checked her phone to make plans with her friend for the rest of it. I should have ended it then and there but I didn't.
I was so glad it was over when we split because I promptly deleted her number/texts. On the plus side, at least she laughed at my jokes but said she had a hard time detecting when I was being facetious. It's been a while since I've been on date where the girl threw herself at me.
I went on a date earlier today with a girl 8 years younger and awkwardly asked if she would like to kiss me. She said no politely then checked her phone to make plans with her friend for the rest of it. I should have ended it then and there but I didn't.
I was so glad it was over when we split because I promptly deleted her number/texts. On the plus side, at least she laughed at my jokes but said she had a hard time detecting when I was being facetious. It's been a while since I've been on date where the girl threw herself at me.
I hope this doesn't come across as rude but I've ready so many of your posts breaking down your dates and honestly you either come across far too aggressive on first date or reeking of desperation. From what I recall this has resulted in you being unable to organize a 2nd date.
I would perhaps consider modifying your approach because based on the number of dates you are going on, you shouldn't be striking out at the scale you are.
waveuponwave
Member
Ok GAF life is getting interesting
Just started dating an amazing woman, we've been friends for a few months and it happened completely naturally... our personalities just click, we have very similar interests and a really intense connection. Only she's 5 years older (I'm 25 which puts her at 30) and my relationships so far amount to a 2-week-thing last summer.
At this point I'm mostly past caring about my lack of experience, in the end I had a ton of anxieties and other stuff to work through in the last years, maybe it was even for the better... still, this could get weird
I could see this turning serious pretty soon just because of the connection we have. But at the same time while 5 years isn't a whole lot I can't deny that physically I'm more attracted to girls closer to my age
What to do...
Just started dating an amazing woman, we've been friends for a few months and it happened completely naturally... our personalities just click, we have very similar interests and a really intense connection. Only she's 5 years older (I'm 25 which puts her at 30) and my relationships so far amount to a 2-week-thing last summer.
At this point I'm mostly past caring about my lack of experience, in the end I had a ton of anxieties and other stuff to work through in the last years, maybe it was even for the better... still, this could get weird
I could see this turning serious pretty soon just because of the connection we have. But at the same time while 5 years isn't a whole lot I can't deny that physically I'm more attracted to girls closer to my age
What to do...
artsi
Member
Can't really say, either you're attracted or not and since you're dating I assume you are.
5 years is nothing, I dated a 40 year old woman when I was your age lol.
Miles Quaritch
Member
So she's not attractive to you? If it's a no, time to move on.
If she is, you're overthinking and just looking for faults/issues.
always crazy bacon
Banned
It's not just you who's noticed. He's just running the same cycle every time expecting a different outcome when the common factor in all the dates is him. He's mentioned several times about feeling judged for one reason or another by the girl and has zero tolerance for minor things and the way he recounts these things makes them sound like a much bigger deal than they probably are. Also he's Hispanic and I only know one Hispanic guy personally (admittedly small sample size) but he has temper issues as well, but he's aware of his and has even said to me it's something he needs to work on.
Jhoan says he's confident but his insecurities are still there because he's not relaxed and comfortable with himself first and that's why he's feeling judged.
Miles Quaritch
Member
He just need another 8 months to get over messing up that one date.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Yeah, that part stuck out the most to me. Like, you need to move on dude.
We all fuck up and need to learn from it and better ourselves for the next time, but don't let that "next time" be like a year away.
Anyway,
I'm training super hard to get in shape now. I keep failing on my diets and stuff but I'm really closely counting calories now and have agreed with a mate of mine to keep each other in check. Also, my new job application has a minimum beep test result that I need to work towards, so that's motivating me too. Met a couple of pretty cool girls in my new classes this week, all pursuing similar career paths. Out of my league but I'll see how it goes lol.
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