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[Salamando]

If my dates aren't damp by the time the main course arrives, I'll cover dinner and apologise for my failure.

Spoiler

I'll pick you up at 7

Sometimes they have to wait for the main course? Amateur.

Meeting up with girls for what you think is a date and they think is a hangout is never fun. You can use all the words and footstuff you want to unlock those sex hormones, you're still on two different track. Things can get damn awkward. Better to be clear and save you both a night.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Sometimes they have to wait for the main course? Amateur.

Meeting up with girls for what you think is a date and they think is a hangout is never fun. You can use all the words and footstuff you want to unlock those sex hormones, you're still on two different track. Things can get damn awkward. Better to be clear and save you both a night.

You're right on both accounts lol

 

[Stopdoor]

I've had a girl at work that I'm cool just being friends with ask me to go to see movies with just her and eat afterwards, and tbh I wish there was some clear way to be sure no one's going into it with date intentions. We need an anti-date codeword as well.

 

[Hrothgar]

I've had a girl at work that I'm cool just being friends with ask me to go to see movies with just her and eat afterwards, and tbh I wish there was some clear way to be sure no one's going into it with date intentions. We need an anti-date codeword as well.

Just ask her? "We are just hanging out, right?" Or some variant of that.

 

[Llyranor]

Not using the d word
Sex hormones
Hitting on girls at the gym as an example

What am I reading?

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I agree. Be clear about your intentions.

It's okay to be like "Hey, you wanna go see that Dodgers game with me?" And then follow up with "Okay, it's a date." Make sure Date I'd in there though.

Why not just say "Do you want to go on a date to the dodgers game?". If she wants to go out she won't flip at The mention of the word date.

 

[always crazy bacon]

I've had a girl at work that I'm cool just being friends with ask me to go to see movies with just her and eat afterwards, and tbh I wish there was some clear way to be sure no one's going into it with date intentions. We need an anti-date codeword as well.

"I love anime"

 

[gaiages]

Not using the d word
Sex hormones
Hitting on girls at the gym as an example

What am I reading?

It's just another day in Dating GAF tbh

 

[Subpar Scrub]

"I love anime"

I walked past an anime DVD poster a couple months ago with a cute German girl I was meeting and she asked if I watched anime.

Me: "Oh, not very often at all"

Her: "Aww, well that's a shame, I watch it like... most nights to be honest haha"

:| Fuck. Couldn't really change my answer after that.

I guess that was sort of a lesson in just being honest with people. That was also when I was trying too hard to please people and act in a way that I thought they wanted me to act. Now I'm focusing in just acting with sincerity and honesty, because fuck the idea of pretending I don't like something and then condemning myself to not enjoy it ever again just to appease someone who hates one of my interests.

I've started reading "the subtle art of not giving a fuck" and I really think it's helped me be more confident in myself. That being said, I'd never say I "love" anime. I hate it as much as I like it, depending on show or genres lol.

It's just another day in Dating GAF tbh

Even so, this has become my favourite thread on this site. Hilarity and solid advice seem to come in equal parts.

 

[Barrel Cannon]

Watched Baby driver yesterday with my friend. We both enjoyed the movie and both came to the realization that it would have been a good movie to take a date on. Didn't feel like a action-bro-guns movie like we thought it would be.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Watched Baby driver yesterday with my friend. We both enjoyed the movie and both came to the realization that it would have been a good movie to take a date on. Didn't feel like a action-bro-guns movie like we thought it would be.

The last act was totally an action bro guns movie. It was also the weakest part of the movie.

I've had a girl at work that I'm cool just being friends with ask me to go to see movies with just her and eat afterwards, and tbh I wish there was some clear way to be sure no one's going into it with date intentions. We need an anti-date codeword as well.

Just ask if this is suppose to be a date? If you can't tell then just seek clarification. If you are fine just being friends you have nothing to lose.

 

[JadedWriter]

I've had a girl at work that I'm cool just being friends with ask me to go to see movies with just her and eat afterwards, and tbh I wish there was some clear way to be sure no one's going into it with date intentions. We need an anti-date codeword as well.

Just wear a Hunter x Hunter shirt.

 

[gaiages]

Just wear a Hunter x Hunter shirt.

At least wear a more stylish anime's shirt

 

[Prime crotch]

Also make sure to make it clear that the x in Hunter x Hunter is silent

 

[Attack You]

I walked past an anime DVD poster a couple months ago with a cute German girl I was meeting and she asked if I watched anime.

Me: "Oh, not very often at all"

Her: "Aww, well that's a shame, I watch it like... most nights to be honest haha"

:| Fuck. Couldn't really change my answer after that.

I guess that was sort of a lesson in just being honest with people. That was also when I was trying too hard to please people and act in a way that I thought they wanted me to act. Now I'm focusing in just acting with sincerity and honesty, because fuck the idea of pretending I don't like something and then condemning myself to not enjoy it ever again just to appease someone who hates one of my interests.

I've started reading "the subtle art of not giving a fuck" and I really think it's helped me be more confident in myself. That being said, I'd never say I "love" anime. I hate it as much as I like it, depending on show or genres lol.

This is me reading your post: But, your takeaway was the correct one, so hooray "I guess."

Spoiler

Also, the appropriate recovery was "I just need to make more time for it. What do you recommend?"

 

[JadedWriter]

At least wear a more stylish anime's shirt

Wear this...problem solved

Spoiler

If you never want to date said person agan

 

[LucidMomentum]

Yo don't knock my SBR and SpeedWagon T-Shirts pls thnx.

Would I wear them on a first date? Probably not, I have Polos and such for that.

But yeah, I have a lot of Games Done Quick and Smash Bros. tournament shirts that I wear casually, like these:

But I've found out being honest about my hobbies is usually a good thing.

 

[Megalosaro]

Generally if a girl likes you, they won't care what your hobbies are.

I mean, would I rave about how much I love I love Gundam, how Universal Century is the best timeline, how Char did nothing wrong, how much I would love to live in an island 3 type colony, Sieg Zeon, and how I've built over 30 gundam models?

Probably not on a first date. I might offhandedly mention "oh hey, I like 80s robot anime". I think the problem with nerd culture is that too often, we tend to let our hobbies define us.

 

[always crazy bacon]

But I've found out being honest about my hobbies is usually a good thing.

Not directed at you. General rule, don't replace your personality with your hobby. I know many of GAF core users would like the gamer/anime girl who'll share that with you but she'll only be interested if you've got everything else going on in your life.

 

[LucidMomentum]

Generally if a girl likes you, they won't care what your hobbies are.

I mean, would I rave about how much I love I love Gundam, how Universal Century is the best timeline, how Char did nothing wrong, how much I would love to live in an island 3 type colony, Sieg Zeon, and how I've built over 30 gundam models?

Probably not on a first date. I might offhandedly mention "oh hey, I like 80s robot anime". I think the problem with nerd culture is that too often, we tend to let our hobbies define us.

This too.

I mean I'm going to EVO and most of my non nerd friends are giving me Vegas suggestions and I'm just telling them "well maybe if I have time with all the brackets, running tournaments, money matches, interviews, etc. going on I might do some of that stuff.'

I'm unapologetic about my nerdy hobbies but I don't let it be the "only" thing I do.

I mean I'm going golfing this weekend and had to turn down a "maybe" date from someone cause she just threw it at me randomly after I made plans.

Next weekend is all about fighting games though.

Not directed at you. General rule, don't replace your personality with your hobby. I know many of GAF core users would like the gamer/anime girl who'll share that with you but she'll only be interested if you've got everything else going on in your life.

For sure. I mean I play a lot of games but I have a steady job, other hobbies, and can carry conversations without it all being about Smash, Anime, etc.

If the topic comes up you know I'm all about it, but if not it's still chill.

I've found talking about tournaments can be pretty interesting to some people though.

 

[MogCakes]

Not directed at you. General rule, don't replace your personality with your hobby. I know many of GAF core users would like the gamer/anime girl who'll share that with you but she'll only be interested if you've got everything else going on in your life.

Also, girls who define themselves by their interest in anime/nerd culture are not the ideal waifus a lot of guys fantasize about. Everyone should be first attracted to their partner, not their partner's hobbies.

 

[Kyne]

it's really about confidence.

You can have something nerdy going on and as long as you carry yourself as a confident individual you can usually get away with it.

I enjoy building computers and occasionally watching slice of life anime. I'm also in great shape, somewhat stylish, have a great job and I rent my own apartment. If anyone thinks calling me a nerd is going to offend me they have something else coming to them :>

 

[Peltz]

it's really about confidence.

You can have something nerdy going on and as long as you carry yourself as a confident individual you can usually get away with it.

I enjoy building computers and occasionally watching slice of life anime. I'm also in great shape, somewhat stylish, have a great job and I rent my own apartment. If anyone thinks calling me a nerd is going to offend me they have something else coming to them :>

QFT. No girl has ever come up to my apartment ready to jump into bed, seen my videogame collection, and decided I wasn't her type or anything. As long as your well rounded, having a nerdy side is a very good thing. It makes you relateable and interesting.

 

[Llyranor]

Nothing shameful about being a nerd. Just need to not have it be the only thing going for you.

 

[LucidMomentum]

Nothing shameful about being a nerd. Just need to not have it be the only thing going for you.

Besides, everyone has something they nerd out about. I like finding out what people get excited about, that can be a real fun part of dates.

 

[Peltz]

Besides, everyone has something they nerd out about. I like finding out what people get excited about, that can be a real fun part of dates.

And if someone doesn't have anything nerdy about them, they're likely boring.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

QFT. No girl has ever come up to my apartment ready to jump into bed, seen my videogame collection, and decided I wasn't her type or anything. As long as your well rounded, having a nerdy side is a very good thing. It makes you relateable and interesting.

Every girl I've brought back to my apartment loved my stuffed Yoshi.

In other news, my girl (but it's totes casual) played my 3DS a bit last night and got into a Fire Emblem battle. She also helped me track down my phone from a rogue Uber driver before we passed out. Poor thing had to drive an hour home at 7am though. The distance is kind of a bear, but once I can telework 2 days a month in a few months, I guess I'll split time, maybe, if we're still together, even though we're not together.

 

[WriterGK]

All of those answers as such common replies ESPECIALLY "Your sweet and brave" tell me your being too nice and aproaching women as friends not as potential dates. Your not giving off enough sex appeal. All those answers are no, they just dont want to say it becaise there are too many crazy men out there that cant take rejection well.

Thnx. You are totally right. I need to give off more sex appeal. Any idea where to start?

 

[WriterGK]

Well the official language is Portuguese, so i would assume no



Huh. Well none of us know exactly how you approach, but.....

- "I have a boyfriend" is the easiest rejection possible, she's allowed to turn you down without it even being your fault, thus keeping your self esteem intact. "I'm too just busy" or "i'm not looking for" whatever is the same thing. All of this is easier to say than "i'm not interested in you" or "you aren't my type". Yes, they're all effectively rejections, don't take them personal.

- I've never used the word "date" while setting up a date. If you ask a girl to go somewhere, it should 100% already be implied that you're going on a date. So you can just casually ask her somewhere and omit the word. Not only does it escalate the request too much, It comes off as inexperienced and tryhard when you have to specify that your outing is going to be a date.


Now, a girl calling your attempt "Sweet and Brave" almost nearly sounds patronizing. This is just her way of saying that she did not get the vibe that you were approaching her as a potential sexual mate...."I have a boyfriend" is an infinitely better rejection than this.

As an experiment, try approaching the next few girls with the mindset that her going somewhere with you is something they she already wants to do, but she just isn't aware of it yet.

Thnx good tips. I'll try that and be more mysterious and such.

 

[gaiages]

Thnx good tips. I'll try that and be more mysterious and such.

Most people replied to that post saying that not asking for a date explicitly is kind of a bad idea though...

Unless you mean mysterious in other ways, then uh, go for it.

 

[Peltz]

Every girl I've brought back to my apartment loved my stuffed Yoshi.

In other news, my girl (but it's totes casual) played my 3DS a bit last night and got into a Fire Emblem battle. She also helped me track down my phone from a rogue Uber driver before we passed out. Poor thing had to drive an hour home at 7am though. The distance is kind of a bear, but once I can telework 2 days a month in a few months, I guess I'll split time, maybe, if we're still together, even though we're not together.

When's the wedding?

 

[Puck Beaverton]

I have a marimba in my house is that considered dorky?

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Thnx good tips. I'll try that and be more mysterious and such.

No. Fuck no. If you want a date call it a date. People that assume it's implied it's a date are the same motherfuckers that litter this thread talking some bullshit bout "me and this girl 'hung out' a couple times". Gues what those people all have in common?

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Let me explain something. You aint mysterious. And 99% of the time if you need gaf to affirm to you how to approach women your game aint that hot either. Do not try be mysterious, be srraight forward. Not desparate, just straight forward.

 

[WriterGK]

Most people replied to that post saying that not asking for a date explicitly is kind of a bad idea though...

Unless you mean mysterious in other ways, then uh, go for it.

Yeah other ways. And just say lets do this or that..like someone said its always meant as date so need to say the word "date" itself right? And be less friendly and more assertive and such

 

[WriterGK]

No. Fuck no. If you want a date call it a date. People that assume it's implied it's a date are the same motherfuckers that litter this thread talking some bullshit bout "me and this girl 'hung out' a couple times". Gues what those people all have in common?

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Let me explain something. You aint mysterious. And 99% of the time if you need gaf to affirm to you how to approach women your game aint that hot either. Do not try be mysterious, be srraight forward. Not desparate, just straight forward.

Hmmm need to think about it. Straight forward I do a lot but need more sex appeal

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Hmmm need to think about it. Straight forward I do a lot but need more sex appeal

Sex appeal is not something you can conjure out of thin air. I'm a big on being nice is overated but you gotta know the difference between being nice and just being eager.

 

[Peltz]

Thnx. You are totally right. I need to give off more sex appeal. Any idea where to start?

That's going to depend heavily on your looks, voice, approach to conversations, and overall life philosophy (no joke). There's no one-size-fits-all answer,but generally speaking:

Be assertive and direct about what you want. Never hesitate when approaching a girl. Make strong eye contact when speaking to her. Maintain proper decorum but don't feel the need to be overly polite or complimentary - hot girls can sense a bullshitter better than anyone. Take pride in your appearance. Treat everyone around you with respect. Be ready to walk away from someone respectfully when rejected.

And again, be honest. Honesty is 100% what every girl is looking for more than anything. That means being real with her no matter the context. If she asks "why do you want my number?" it means you answer truthfully "because I think you're hot and it would be cool to go on a date with you" (if that is in fact the way you feel). Being sexy basically means not giving a fuck if you get rejected. It means cutting through the bullshit and just being true to yourself and not needing to put on a show to get a girl.

Of course, looks do matter, but tons of handsome dudes strike out and a lot of plain dudes get with hot girls. So don't think girls may be "out of your league" because there really is no such thing.

I have a marimba in my house is that considered dorky?

Vibes would have been cooler. But nah.

 

[gaiages]

I have a marimba in my house is that considered dorky?

I had to look up what that is, sounds like a conversation starter at least

 

[Leeness]

Every girl I've brought back to my apartment loved my stuffed Yoshi.

In other news, my girl (but it's totes casual) played my 3DS a bit last night and got into a Fire Emblem battle. She also helped me track down my phone from a rogue Uber driver before we passed out. Poor thing had to drive an hour home at 7am though. The distance is kind of a bear, but once I can telework 2 days a month in a few months, I guess I'll split time, maybe, if we're still together, even though we're not together.

Hmm...

 

[Peltz]

Hmm...

It was totes casual for me too. Now I'm in a relationship.

Tread carefully. That shit sneaks up on you.

Spoiler

(That shit = feelings)

 

[Leeness]

It was totes casual for me too. Now I'm in a relationship.

Tread carefully. That shit sneaks up on you.

Spoiler

(That shit = feelings)

He's just being dumb. 😑

 

[artsi]

I'm not quite sure if the rich girl is stringing me along or if she's genuinely slow to advance like she says.

She initiates contact and messages me (or sometimes calls me) every day, but meeting once a week for 2-3 hours at a time seems so sluggish. We've been doing this for 6 weeks now.

So far she has arranged every date, I've tried on my end but nothing works as she's always busy.
I said a while back (politely) that I'm giving up doing that and she can tell me when she has more time, if she wants to continue seeing me.

She said that she would've already told me if she wasn't interested, and will try to arrange time, but we'll see.

But I'm not stuck on her, meanwhile I've been seeing the Instagram girl and going to her place tomorrow night again.

It's casual so far but if the rich one doesn't start hustling the door might close soon, because I'm liking this girl more and more and she seems like she'd like something more serious.

 

[LucidMomentum]

It was totes casual for me too. Now I'm in a relationship.

Tread carefully. That shit sneaks up on you.

Spoiler

(That shit = feelings)

I mean, even if a relationship starts casual, it can always change.

It's at that point you find out if it's going to be more than that or not.

Every relationship is casual until it isn't lol.

 

[Peltz]

I'm not quite sure if the rich girl is stringing me along or if she's genuinely slow to advance like she says.

She initiates contact and messages me every day, but meeting once a week for 2-3 hours at a time seems so sluggish. We've been doing this for 6 weeks now.

So far she has arranged every date, I've tried on my end but nothing works as she's always busy.
I said a while back (politely) that I'm giving up doing that and she can tell me when she has more time, if she wants to continue seeing me.

She said that she would've already told me if she wasn't interested, and will try to arrange time, but we'll see.

But I'm not stuck on her, meanwhile I've been seeing the Instagram girl and going to her place tomorrow night again.

It's casual so far but if the rich one doesn't start hustling the door might close soon, because I'm liking this girl more and more and she seems like she'd like something more serious.

She may not be stringing you along, but it's clear she's not going out of her way to get with you. In other words, you're not a priority to her.

That doesn't mean she's not interested (genuinely), but if she doesn't satiate you, then does it really matter? You obviously feel like things are not going at the speed that works for you, so there's some mis-matching of values and compatibility happening already. I think you know where it's going.

I tried to get with a girl who was "busy all the time" too, and to be honest, it was not worth it. I constantly felt marginalized and unimportant to her. Moving on was a smart decision and I never regretted it.

 

[artsi]

She may not be stringing you along, but it's clear she's not going out of her way to get with you. In other words, you're not a priority to her.

That doesn't mean she's not interested (genuinely), but if she doesn't satiate you, then does it really matter? You obviously feel like things are not going at the speed that works for you, so there's some mis-matching of values and compatibility happening already. I think you know where it's going.

I tried to get with a girl who was "busy all the time" too, and to be honest, it was not worth it. I constantly felt marginalized and unimportant to her. Moving on was a smart decision and I never regretted it.

Yeah. She does have a busy job (finance stuff and she travels a lot) and needs to see her friends too, I understand that, but the fact is that things can never really develop if it continues like this.

If the other girl does actually want to get serious at one point I'm going to go ahead and cut this one off without much thought.

 

[Liquid_015]

Dating-GAF,

If majority of the time when you meet up with your other half (in person) doing whatever activities, and the conversation is mainly about your other half venting about work (90%) - what would you do if you were me?

 

[TVexperto]

Hey guys im 26 and a girl im dating is 19, turning 20 new few months. Do you guys feel thats weird? I dont know the way she talks etc doesnt seem like 19 to me but Im afraid people around us will say its weird, too big of a gap however I often read about couples who are like 8 or 20 years apart.

What do you guys think? (We live in Europe)

 

[MogCakes]

Hey guys im 26 and a girl im dating is 19, turning 20 new few months. Do you guys feel thats weird? I dont know the way she talks etc doesnt seem like 19 to me but Im afraid people around us will say its weird, too big of a gap however I often read about couples who are like 8 or 20 years apart.

What do you guys think? (We live in Europe)

She's legal yes? Then it doesn't matter

 

[WolfeTone]

Dating-GAF,

If majority of the time when you meet up with your other half (in person) doing whatever activities, and the conversation is mainly about your other half venting about work (90%) - what would you do if you were me?

I would try to steer the conversation in other directions. If the other person doesn't take the hint it shows that they are pretty inconsiderate.

How long have you been in a relationship with this person? If it's been a long time, you should feel comfortable bringing it up honestly.

Hey guys im 26 and a girl im dating is 19, turning 20 new few months. Do you guys feel thats weird? I dont know the way she talks etc doesnt seem like 19 to me but Im afraid people around us will say its weird, too big of a gap however I often read about couples who are like 8 or 20 years apart.

What do you guys think? (We live in Europe)

This is the only part that matters. If you like her and are attracted to her (personality and looks), then her age doesn't matter.

If the opinion of other people means too much to you, then you should end it.

 

[PancakeBurglar]

Hey guys im 26 and a girl im dating is 19, turning 20 new few months. Do you guys feel thats weird? I dont know the way she talks etc doesnt seem like 19 to me but Im afraid people around us will say its weird, too big of a gap however I often read about couples who are like 8 or 20 years apart.

What do you guys think? (We live in Europe)

Dude you're fine, thats not much of problem and there are plenty of other people with larger age gaps between their SO. I'm currently chatting with a woman who is 8 years older than me.